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[aiwillneversmile]

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[aiwillneversmile]

We didn't say what they did. Better to be prepared.

[aididitmyway]

Okay. Good.

[BREATHES OUT]

I'm really hoping they change it up and nothing's violent. I want to be able to do the three pointers...

[aiwillneversmile]

If you ever need help with the party or rank ones, I'm up for it.

[aididitmyway]

I know.

And I mean this with all of the love in my heart but I'm not sure you'd be a good party planner.

[aiwillneversmile]

Offer retracted, then. Wouldn't want to cause you to have more bad thoughts.

[aididitmyway]

Your strengths are elsewhere! You're great at judging people, so you'd be way better at ranking.

Just... not the parties.

[aiwillneversmile]

Agree to disagree. Don't call me for your upcoming beauty contest.

Mm, I had a question. The movie, you don't want to think about it here, right?

[aididitmyway]

I'd... rather not, but I know there's a lot I need to do. Shouldn't I be taking advantage of all the time I'm spending here?

Maybe it'll help me be less worried back home and I'll be able to breathe a little.

[aiwillneversmile]

I don't know. You need to figure that answer out for yourself, because I don't want you to start burning out again. I'm not planning on pushing it anymore in either case.

[aididitmyway]

... What made you change your mind?

[aiwillneversmile]

I don't want to stress you out more than I already do. I'm already modifying the script to account for any trouble your scenes will give you. Between that, the director, and the other actors, you will have plenty of support during filming.

[aididitmyway]

You don't have to, Aqua.

I just. . . didn't realize how hard the stuff with mama would hit, when it came to her own mom.

[aiwillneversmile]

I don't have to; I want to. Getting the time to polish everything now that the cast is finalized is helpful.

Yeah, I know. It's going to get worse on set, trust me.

[aididitmyway]

I don't doubt that, I just—

Want to figure out how to handle it. I didn't want to believe a parent could do that to their kid, even though mother did.

[aiwillneversmile]

You could ask people about their parents here. Given how unique everyone is, you're likely to get a few of those stories. But . . . You probably want to hear from a parent that did abandon a kid more, right?

[aididitmyway]

. . . Probably, yeah.

I don't want people to think mama did that, though, just in case they ask why. She would never. Right?

[aiwillneversmile]

No, never. Being an idol and a mother were dreams she held onto tightly with all her strength. The time when you would naturally face this is when you have children, but I think you can pull off the illusion with a few references and coaching from Kana.

[aididitmyway]

That's what I thought.

I guess if they ask, I can just say it's for my role in a movie.

[aiwillneversmile]

Mm, just doing some character research.

I don't know if it would help, but you have crossed a threshold like that before. From your previous condition and wanting to be an idol to finally becoming one does have a thread connecting being abandoned by a mother to becoming one in turn. When you look back, how does that past seem now?

[aididitmyway]

[She frowns, deeply]

That's what started all of the problems.

[aiwillneversmile]

[putting his chopsticks down]

Your mind is revolting at the thought?

[aididitmyway]

I...

I didn't want to believe mother didn't love me. That a parent could just abandon their kid like that.

[aiwillneversmile]

[not his question but accepting that she is stuck on that]

She loved you, but she had to save herself. If she was asked about Sarina, her heart would surely sink at the memory. However, between you and herself, she chose herself. It was cruel . . .

[aididitmyway]

... She never smiled at me. She was always really distant even when she told me she loved me. I saw her with her new kids, though.

She actually looks like she cares.

[aiwillneversmile]

[getting up and coming to settle behind her, hugging her and resting his head against her]

You can hate me for saying it, but I don't think she was a good mother. She couldn't accept the hand she was dealt and decided to leave rather than keep pushing forward.

. . . Ai would have done everything that we needed. She knew who we were.